January 28, 2023

Pliva 433

In these dark and depressing times, we, as human beings, often find ourselves glancing towards the stars, searching the night skies for a sign of hope; hope in the form of dying light that has crossed the great expanse of space and time to reach out to us in a last ditch effort to be immortalized within our own mind’s eye; as if to say, I was here – and I existed.

However, when you live in the center of a city so blanketed in light pollution you wouldn’t even know what a star’s light looked like if it were stabbing you in the retina, there’s a much more Earth-bound, chemical, man-made set of solutions. And one of those is PLIVA 433.
PLIVA 433, or, Trazodone, is the answer that some scientist came up with when asked the age old question of How do I make things not suck so hard anymore while catering to my inefficient necessity of sleeping for 1/3 of my life?

From panic disorder and Schizophrenia to Erectile dysfunction and the occasional fit of bad dreams, this round white pill is the prescribing doctor’s loaded gun to attempt to treat a plethora of medical conditions; or, depending on who you ask, it’s a really good way to come down quickly from that fistfull of psychidellic drugs you just inhaled before you realized it was 6 in the morning on a Wednesday and the weekend doesn’t start as soon as your pants come off.

Formulated by Angelini Research Laboratories in the 60’s after some sciencey-types studied the association of pain tolerance with depression, they decided to ignore the very chic implications of possibly breeding an army of CIPA-enabled Super Soldiers and went for the more amicable approach of instead focusing on the elegant problem solving abilities that the compound presented instead. Although, it did take the FDA 20 years to approve it, so maybe the Super Soldier Protocol wasn’t off the table entirely.

Side effects of PLIVA 433, while rare, include such exciting predicaments as priapism, orthostatic hypotension (the I just stood up too fast and now my body no longer knows how to work feeling), and, in some cases, an impairment of vigilance (see: 10-year-old me on his first bike ride pedaling full-speed into the street without looking both ways first).

Ultimately, your doctor will look at the risks involved, inform you of said risks, and help you to make an informed decision as to whether or not a life of depression and terrible sleep is something you’re comfortable continuing to live with.

You may go to bed at night dreading the waking hours; you may wake up from an ill-rested night feeling like a hot garbage fire; you may zombie walk your way through your meaningless TPS Report filled day answering to people younger than you are pulling down undeserved incomes using skills you could have acquired from an hour on Youtube; you may choke back your tears as the darkness and banality of your existence marches, undaunted by the certain hands of time, towards the edge of oblivion. But, at least there’s one thing you can do: Medicate with drugs like PLIVA 433 under the guidance of a medical professional and feel rest assured In knowing that if you’re going to have to walk solemnly into that uncertain horizon, you can at least do it with a well-rested smile on your face.

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